Saturday, December 5, 2009

pump it out

last night i went out to see my friend danielle because it was her birthday. i drank a few beers, made conversation and ate bar snacks. she also has another friend that works on the same movie i'm working on, but i never see him because he's always in the basement. small world instance again!

today i'm going to paint, draw, and story board all day. the juices that are creative will be flowing?

other news: it should snow today at some point... YAY!

Sunday, November 29, 2009


my goals are taking way too long to accomplish. i want to be successful now. NOW! ugh.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Oh this thing is here

stuff has happened since i last updated, but i don't care enough to put anything about that here.

i haven't been sleeping well for awhile. i woke up last night twice drenched in sweat. it was really gross, and it wasn't even hot in my room. the other night i woke up with finding myself scratching at my stomach. i hope i'm not possessed by a demon or something ridiculous. you know, i'd take something ridiculous possessing me over a demon any day.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I want to be a spook


i hate that i really love this time of year so much. i'm always searching for that eerie, anxious feeling every october. in the past 4 year though, it hasn't been the same. probably because i've relocated to brooklyn.

but i'm hoping to break this habit and make every thing right again.

sheila, dylan and i watched the "Trick 'r Treat" movie last night. i really enjoyed it. it had the same kind of feeling you want Halloween to be like and the story telling was not bad for the majority. go rent it!

sheila also introduced me to "Dead Man's Bones", Ryan Gosling's band. it's pretty fucking rad as well.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Cobble Stones at my feet

yesterday, molly and i went to Dumbo for an art gallery festival. she had to go for class, i went with her as a companion.

some of the artwork we looked at in one of the galleries/studios.

we also walked around a farmer's market and at the sunday brooklyn flea.

molly wanted to stop in this found wood furniture store. they had these sick animal sculptures. i dig the elephant one a lot. the place smelt really good as well. it was kind of a mix between burnt wood, cinnamon, dead leaves, and dirt. i wish every day of my life smelled like that.

glass dildos anyone? i think i saw something on the history channel once where they talked about these phallic creations.

an old merry-go-round that was restored. we couldn't go on it because new york state law says that there has to be at least 4 feet of space between the ride and a wall. there was only 2 feet of space. no ride.

taking pictures when going out is weird. i might do it again.

another of my cousins got engaged. it's pretty cool. i don't know how i feel about this weird growing up business. i just want to watch saturday morning cartoons and call my sister a butt head.
i'll just call her instead.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

let me in your window

i got a job designing prints for t-shirts. i start monday to talk about the type of designs they want. i'm feeling pretty good about it. i should still find another job though.

october is almost here. i'm really excited about overcast days with the leaves changing and the 65 degree weather. i want to go home and do some apple picking and hiking through the forests. it needs to be creepier here in bk. it never gets to way it does in monroe.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


school has started up again, but this time, i don't have to go.

i'm afraid of tripping over shadows.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

dark sun daze

it would be nice right about now.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

it's coming down

elliot returns to me in 10 days!!!!!! i'm sooooooooooooo elated i could vomit and shit at the same time.

summer time sucks, so I've been putting together fall outfits with some clothes i've been reconstructing. here's one:

and me in my natural state:

all right!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

to be there

i need to be there.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


just thinking.

Itchy ankles in the night

dream time post!!! two dreams actually both had me waking up rather weirded out.

the other night i dreamed that i got a dog. fairly mid size, short ears, goofy mouth, black and dark brown colors, and thick coat. not the kind of dog i want, but a dog none the less. the dog was a she and throughout the dream i was deciding on a name for her. i was going through a really weird area in my dream, and she got hurt. she wasn't walking right, that had me worried, so I carried her home. i gave her a bowl of water and some food but she wouldn't touch it. then she said, "Sorry I can't stick around."

then i woke up. stupid dreams making me think i have something when i don't!

the dream i just woke up from 15 minutes ago took place on top of a mountain. it look like it was pretty much a resort for the gods. the rooms had either large glass windows with huge curtains or dark mahogany wood for walls. there were small ponds in the back of the rooms to chill in, but there were some weird things in them like urchins, eels, lily pads and the water was weirdly murky. then you walk out from the rooms; there's the pool area, the dining area, salon, bigger deal god rooms and whatever else you'd find at resorts. i was a lesser god but i could turn into different animals. no real complaints there. i was living in one of the rooms with the weird pond shits and was trying to get them to leave.
then all the gods went to this different part of the mountain that was a type of spring/pond thing with crazy looking water creatures. the trees were tall and thin, but not threatening looking. there was some marsh grass too. the water was super clear and you could see every thing in it. thesse creatures could talk and one spiky looking shit said the water/ocean goddess was hanging with them inside a shell and she needed help to get out on her own. i took the shell from the weird thing and opened it and in a extravagant way, the goddess of the ocean came to all her glory. she looked like something right out of a gustav klimt painting, awesome. the other gods didn't seem to please to she her and she knew this. she also had a kind of bummed out look on her face.
back at the resort, all the other gods were kinda being jerks to ocean goddess. there were schemes too. for some reason some mortal was there asking questions about the ocean goddess, and how she came back. i didn't tell her shit. then i went back to my room to try and fix the situation in my gross pond. and the ocean goddess was waiting for me in there.
she went on about thanking me for releasing her back into the world but some shit was going to go down and soon. apparently the other big deal gods sealed her away into the shell because of a disagreement so that they could wreak havoc on the world below. when i brought her back, they were all pretty pissed about it. the goddess explained to me that she had to be sealed away in a shell again and released when the time was right. before i could say anything, she fucking put herself back in a goddamn shell, IN THE GROSS POND WATER!!!! i then had to find her shell and hide it somewhere in my room.
afterwards, i went out around the resort trying to figure out who were the schemers. i boiled it down to a few and i found out who i could trust among the big deals and the other little gods like me. i then went back to my room to get the shell, but IT WAS GONE!!! Who the fuck took the fucking shell?! I'm freaking out now, i run to the other part of the resort the ask for help. one god saw that it was on a table where the big deal god schemers were. i casually walked over to ask if they needed anything else and cleared away their plates from some food they ate. i took the shell and hide it in my pocket. one of the gods caught on and pursued me through the pool. eventually got away and brought back the shell to my cohorts. one was be tricky so i gave him a decoy shell to hide while i had the real one. then sky turned crazy black, with the sun still out. that shit looks scary.
all the gods rushed out to see what the fuck going on. the earth started to rise up violently and ocean was writhing like a bitch. then the gods took on a bird formation and one of the gods gave a quick tutorial on how to fly in a group formation for those who never have before like me! on the side one of the scheming gods was on the phone with the mortal who was there and asking questions before. the god was all like "Couldn't find the shell sorry." and the mortal was all like "well just get your ass out of there now!" then that god bounced.
after the tutorial, we all got ready to fly together. there was this god behind me that was looking for his good luck charm. i tied it around his neck when we found it. then we got into formation and started to turn into birds. the sky was really fucking scary looking, clouds came tumbling in and were a like brown color and they were warping around over and over. we finally took off and saw the type of destruction the world was in. like apocalypse style stuff.
The rain was coming down really hard, making it difficult to fly. the ocean rose to an insane height. the statue of liberty was up to her neck in water and people were still trying to get to safety in the taller buildings. i kept seeing people's facing drowning in brown murky water.
i then landed somewhere and took out the shell the ocean goddess was in and begged her to come out and she asked me, "what's the use?" and i started to cry and sing at same time begging her because she was going to save us. i then dumped out then contents of the shell into the water hoping she'd do something and i kept crying and singing as the world was ending around me.

Then I woke up, rather exhausted from the whole experience.

That was a lot.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

kinda feels unguided

i really need a weekend or something totally spent swimming in lakes and hiking through the woods. getting bit by bugs, catching fireflies, eating burnt meats. my body and mind are aching for it. i want it so bad.

i can't find my deodorant.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


last night i had a dream that Stephen Colbert was my boyfriend. we tried to have sex in the dream, but we both kept giggling and wrestling with each other instead. he's so darn cute.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

roccccooo cocooo

this song is so cute.
i'm bummed about MJ's passing.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Friday, June 19, 2009

old timer

i got this little accordion the other day for 10 bucks. most of the keys work on it and it's not in the best condition either. it just needs a little fixing up and then i need to learn how to play it. i named it Grandpa.

stone and steel day

i haven't seen the sun in about a week. gray, damp, cold and windy have been the constants. it won't rain today, but the sun won't come out either. monday may have sun. maybe.

here's something weird.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I have woes

i miss my man...
:( x 2,034,345,710,923,471,039,740,527,934

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


looking for a job is horrible. i haven't heard back from anyone at all. it's getting really really discouraging and it's making me very anxious. just thinking about the fact that i have no job and money is going quickly gets me mad. i can do the fucking job, just let me show you.

another option is to take on an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor. i can draw my fucking hands off so i don't have to worry about talent. plus i'm a quick learner and i know when to not be a dick.

i just hope i don't get any shit for not having any tattoos. i'm too indecisive.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


i think i've settled into my new apartment nicely. i got it organized within the small confines of my room. i took some photobooth pictures. lookit.

elliot leaves for Costa Rica on monday. he's not sure if he's going to bring his computer because there may not be any internet connection. not seeing him is gonna suck.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009